I'm glad you've been able to get in touch with some of your anger. Anger can be a very normal and healthy response when we are threatened or in danger.

I think my own anger in my dreams really is the anger of back then, but that that was the self-protective anger of a child who knew that what was happening to her was wrong.
Over the years there were a lot of external influences that tried to get me to repress that anger, to placate my father, to get along and play nice. I bottled it up and stopped letting myself feel it. I forgot about it for a very long time.
It wasn't until I started digging into this stuff in therapy and getting flashes of this intense powerless frustrated anger, like reliving an emotional memory, that I even remembered that I'd felt that way, so often and for so long.

I think I have to work on not judging that child for her anger, being proud of her for standing up for herself and telling her that she was absolutely allowed to defend herself rather than resenting her for not being more "mature" and "composed."
Current adult me has, I believe, lost touch with that very healthy response of self-protective anger.

In a way I think I'm the opposite of you, for it is my anger towards my mother that I have yet to allow myself to feel. She failed to protect me and at times was emotionally damaging in her own way, but I could not allow myself to be angry at her because I needed there to be one parent I could trust and look up to. My therapist has noted that any time a criticism of her comes up I am quick to make excuses, defend her, rationalize her behavior, and explain why the problem was really me.