You could almost be talking about me, I identify so much with what you are writing. I was diagnosed as bipolar so long ago it was still called manic depression. Started with a new therapist...and from the get go she wasn't accepting of that p-doc's diagnosis. I was very resistant at first, but after learning more about BPD, have come around to her way of thinking. I also watched some videos that helped explain the difference between the two.

What stuck with me - in wrapping my head around which was what and what did I have - bipolar episodes can last for days. BPD mood shifts can happen lightening fast. So for your question about mood swings - CHECK! I can go from euphoric to rage in a blink of an eye. And 15 minutes later be totally calm. To further complicate matters, it is possible to be both bipolar AND BPD.

Abandonment - usually a big thing for those with BPD, but not everyone has all symptoms all the time. Like you, I prefer being alone...but I've come to realize that it's because others trigger me, so it's easier to be alone. But, for me, that's because of the BPD. It's more of a case of, the intensity of emotions that get triggered, so I am calmer when alone. If that makes sense - I feel I'm explaining poorly. So, CHECK on the problems tolerating others.

Sleep issues - oh yeah. Recently had an episode of that, that went on for weeks. Sometimes I can figure out the cause behind it, this time I couldn't, even with the therapist's help. Just had to trudge through until it resolved. Other times, depression can cause me to sleep 14, 16 hours at a time. Well, I say depression, but I also use sleep to escape when I'm feeling emotionally overwhelmed, too.

Suicidal thoughts and violent urges? Oh check and check! And, yay you, by the way, for not giving in to urges. NOT an easy thing to do - resisting those. For me, both of these are kind of in a category of "methods of escape" - to escape the exhaustion of battling my emotions and thoughts....to put an end to others who are triggering such strong emotion in me.

But regardless of the diagnosis you are getting...the bigger question is.....will the proposed treatment benefit you? Because to me, really, that's the only point of a diagnosis. It points in the direction of what to try to feel better, be stronger and healthier. For me, the treatment I'm getting for BPD is helping me. Parts of it are very pertinent to me, parts of it are not, parts of it I learned along the way a long time ago....it's different for everyone.

Finding our way through life, finding what works for us, as an individual, can be a hard and difficult journey. Some things work, some things won't,....but nothing will help if you won't give it a try. If you've never had therapy for BPD before, than maybe it CAN help. It's helping me with some of my stuff. I'd definitely recommend you to try it out, see if it would be helpful to you too. If it doesn't help, then it doesn't help, and you and your therapist can move on.