I keep thinking this is about a difference in religion, and that your son did not honor the religion he was raised in at his wedding. I can see how this is an affront.

OTOH, in some religions, the faith is passed on through the mother, because obviously in olden times that was the only parent one could be certain of.

So if that is what the young couple professed at their wedding, well, i think thats what it says in the wedding song - its not ABOUT the parents of the couple, its about the new couple.

Full disclosure - that i did not have guts to say what i truly believed at my church wedding. I lied, lied, lied. I agreed to whatever my parents and his parents and the priests said. And it was over in a couple of years. Looking back (even that minute), i wish i had had the guts to stand up for myself. Also, my brother and his wife did not attend my wedding, making me look even MORE like a "fallen woman" than i already was! My FIL was furious. My parents felt my brother was right. I dont have a relationship with my brother. He just wants to be the boss of me. Not gonna happen.

My advice is - at this point, see a family therapist to sort this out. No "demanding" apologies from anybody. Decide if you want to get some family wedding pictures taken, and what the ongoing relationship will be. But enough fighting about the wedding and who's the boss of who.