I'm sorry I don't think I have useful advice to offer you. To me it sounds as though the difficulties you (as well as your wife) are having are things the two of you are going to have to find solutions for via open & honest communication. And if that is something the two of you cannot accomplish on your own then perhaps the help of a couples therapist is something that should be considered?

Here are links to a dozen articles, from Psych Central's archives, that (hopefully) may be of some help:

How Pornography Can Hurt Your Sex Life

Does Watching Porn Affect Intimate Relationships? (Part One: Men)

The What and How of True Intimacy

Sexuality and Marital Intimacy

Tips to Restore Sexual Intimacy

https://blogs.psychcentral.com/heali...in-a-marriage/

https://blogs.psychcentral.com/healt...le-over-fifty/

https://blogs.psychcentral.com/healt...dium=popular17

https://psychcentral.com/blog/9-step...n-today/?all=1

https://psychcentral.com/lib/marriag...-does-it-work/

https://psychcentral.com/lib/when-on...-relationship/

https://psychcentral.com/lib/7-reaso...ge-counseling/

I hope you find PC to be of benefit.