I wonder if since BJ likes the T, and that appointment is on Tuesday, you can encourage her to eat now, so she can have energy for the appointment.

Can the T be called on the phone and told about what is going on? I know what you are saying about the T maybe being sorta clueless but since she tries, and is nice, and wants to be helpful, maybe she can be guided as to how to best be supportive.

The BF would want BJ to eat, can she understand that?

What food do you like, what are you eating lately?

BJ sounds upset, I wonder if she can be helped to see that eating will help her a lot, she will be able to tell others what is going on, she will have energy.

I believe BJ deserves fun and good food, as do you all.