Why would he feel the need to change all of a sudden? You are still staying with him and having children all while he abuses and controls you. He knows that you are not going anywhere or you’ll be gone long time ago. Plus you can’t change a man by threatening to leave. I don’t think it works marrying people who require that much change.

Pretty much he has to turn into someone else.

A man who watches his wife in intimate situations on secret cameras, goes through her phone, nor allowing her to leave the house, and beats her up, isn’t going to become kind and loving partner. It’s not who he is. Such transformations only happen in fairy tales. It’s magical thinking.