Quote:
Originally Posted by divine1966
Why would he feel the need to change all of a sudden? You are still staying with him and having children all while he abuses and controls you. He knows that you are not going anywhere or you’ll be gone long time ago. Plus you can’t change a man by threatening to leave. I don’t think it works marrying people who require that much change.
Pretty much he has to turn into someone else.
A man who watches his wife in intimate situations on secret cameras, goes through her phone, nor allowing her to leave the house, and beats her up, isn’t going to become kind and loving partner. It’s not who he is. Such transformations only happen in fairy tales. It’s magical thinking.
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I understand you completely. Yes I have stayed with him through some hurdles. But we have also had a lot of good times. I understand that in no way do the good times eradicate any times of any form of abuse. I am the type of person that once I decide to leave there is no turning back. Yes, he does have some insecurities which is why he goes they my phone(BTW I did change my lock code already). Yes, the hidden cameras is completely unacceptable. I never said he doesn’t allow me to leave the house. That’s just crazy. I am free to come and go as I please. He does question me when I go to places out of the norm which is concerning and that needs to change.
I’m sorry we don’t share the same optimism but I assure you my optimism is not blind it’s full of faith that God can do powerful things. I only believe this because He did the same with my father. I am fully aware and prepared to do what is best for my children and myself. It won’t be easy but if it’s what’s best then I will leave.