Hi AzulOscuro,

I'm sorry this is happening to you. Something like that has happened to me before. The human brain is so mysterious. I am often surprised by what my brain thinks and how to moves me to act.

Please realize that you are a million times more than the automatic thoughts and actions that your brain generates. I don't think you should blame yourself for what your brain does when it is feeling hurt.

I suffer from depression and anxiety and these two illnesses have a great influence on me, an influence that surprises and even shocks me sometimes. It helps me a lot to realize that these illnesses can cause all kinds of things which I would not desire to think or do if I wasn't ill. I hope you will not be too hard on yourself.

-- Yaowen