I hope this helps... My approach is not for everyone. It is just what has worked so far for me.

Your inner child is the you that was a kid. You can kinda rewind your mind and go back to that time and remember how you were. You've grown up, but it lives on. I connected with mine because I needed a healthy perspective of a child to assist the part of me that is a parent who is hurting.

A similar example, I was a broken mess after my episode. I needed to find a way forward, so I leaned on my professional self that is an analyst and a strategist to figure out how to do it. So you can think of these pieces of myself like my personalities. In psychological perspective I believe the correct term is personas. If I were to list mine it might look like: child, teenager, sister, friend, professional, wife, mother, etc.

Psychiatry didn't care about me either. I can see it from both sides. They have a lot of patients who lie, fight them and refuse to follow their advice. Also, they have been taught that meds are the answer. They have been done a huge disservice by the institutions that deem them professionals. I think many of them are afraid. It is only quite recently that my psychiatrist has admitted he is basically fumbling in the dark after what I was doing for myself was working and I was doing it without meds. Previously I had been told I would need meds for life and a label was slapped on my file.

I'm so sorry you didn't have support. I can only imagine how scary and lonely that must have been for you.

Honestly, it doesn't matter why they did it. It matters how you got to such a place to be in a position to need their counsel and how you plan to address it if it occurs again. If you believe yourself to be worthy of better, you can demand better for yourself. If you can show yourself compassion, others can sense that in you and offer the same.

People do really terrible things all the time and it is hurtful. We typically never get an apology. We can allow that to anchor us to the past and keep replaying it and analyzing it in our mind looking for justification, or we can accept that people are broken like we are and make crappy choices. We can choose better for ourselves not because others treat us well, but because it is a way of life for us regardless of how others treat us.

It hurts too much probably because you were betrayed by the people you were told were trying to help you. It makes zero rational sense for people to hurt each other in these types of ways. It is never going to make sense unfortunately because people act out of emotion or programming and do not use their hearts or analytical minds like they could or perhaps should. They are asleep at the wheel and most often have no clue as to the damage they cause.

The question then becomes, what are you doing to take care of your heart and mend the hole they left? Maybe you need to find a therapist that you can establish a healthy and helpful relationship with. Maybe you just need to do some inner work and accept that you were wronged by a broken system and you're probably never going to get an apology. Maybe you need to tell your family you really needed more support and it hurt you and you want to partner with them better in the future.

Your path to becoming whole again is unique to you. I'd start with figuring out what is missing and then determining if you can create what you need within yourself or if you need to lean on outside sources. One step at a time. You recognize something is missing. That's a good start.