I was on the phone with my mentor today. And she said that I lack confidence. Hearing that hit me in many ways. How can I be a good counselor if I lack confidence in myself? Then there is the potential to harm another. After I got off the phone I found my headphones and walked out the door and around the block.

Then after I came back, I felt like using my addiction. I'm not completely messed up. (At least I don't think so)

My mentor also questioned is this the right time to pursue a degree in counseling. I responded with I have no idea and I've been asking myself that same question. But then I think of all the people out there that need assistance in my area. I know I can but I don't fully believe that I can.

I"m frustrated. And blocked!! and for some reason, I can't use empathy towards myself. And do I know what empathy actually is??

I've been reading the book "I hear you" and I'm learning it's more about validation. Which is harder to do consistently but it feels good to validate.

I have a long way to go, but I'll get there. I have too!