I make porn. sounds great . I'm open sexually and such until you realize i am an 18-year-old high school senior who lives with my parents who DEFINITELY wouldn't approve. I love doing it (porn, not sex or anything. I'm a virgin, ill get to that later) I love the attention and the adoring viewers and watching the views go up. it consumes my day. I am getting better each time I start again ( this is the 3rd time), getting better at balancing life and porn, better at hiding it from my mom who would seriously hurt me if she found out.
like I said. I've never had sex. my videos are me alone. I am ugly and obese so I couldn't get a guy IRL if I wanted to. I'm kind of worried about how I will act in an actual relationship. I struggle with physical contact yet I am a very sexual person so I feel like I would be leading them on only to back out at the last second out of fear since I am basically all talk and i am 10x more smooth online than I am irl.
it could get me into awkward situations. someone could find out and that terrifies me. so many bad possibilities yet I still long to continue.