I grew up trying to understand technology.

I had to be the one that got the first Atari Home gaming system just after Pong.

I bought the first computer from Radio Shack while living in Washington,

Then when I returned to California I worked for one of the first Networking companies.

I had to keep up on tech, have the latest gadget, worked till I rose in the company. But I was never really happy. I'd sit up at night and wonder what it was that would return the happiness I knew.

My 2 children had grown into teenagers and it was like they were more important than all this craziness.

So I stepped down. Walked away as family and friends thought how could you leave a good high paying job? How could you walk away from 2 cars in the garage and a 3 bedroom house?

I did because all this technology cost me my loved ones. The people who mattered most. My children with drifting off, my friends who were not my friends disappeared of the face of the earth. Then the one I gave my heart to left and nothing mattered to me anymore.

I didn't use technology for 2 years straight. I had no television. No cable, no brick cell phone. I used a payphone to call out. Gone were the days of my pager going off, the fastest computer, the latest toy. I learned to save people, help them, share with them with what ever I had.

Then 911 came and I was busy working, doing the things that kept me busy. Helping others, putting them before me. When I notice a circle of kids hugging and crying and praying. They went on for an hour before I managed enough courage to approach them. That's when I heard news. News of the outside world I had cut myself off from.

My son came home and told me he was joining the ARMY . My daughter was getting married, but both of my kids were still kids. Barely 18.

Some technology returned in my life, but I didn't want to be a slave to it.

Fast forward 30 years. I traveled from California to a place I never been, Ohio.

I struggled at first until I moved on an Amish farm. I cannot be Amish, nor do I wish to be. But they accepted me because of my heart. My laughter and willingness to help. I was respectful to not use tech in front of them.

I learned over the years why they do not use tech. But they do make allowances. The Amish became friends. Community and allowed me a look inside a different culture. The kids are wonderful, I miss my grandkids, but the kids here fill my time with fun and laughter. Always laughter.

So today I once again have a game machine. I rather large tv and this computer I am currently typing on. But as I sit here feeling empty. I know I will drive 2,495 miles. Maybe not being able to see my kids or grandkids. I know as I look around me, all these things could burn up in a fire and I could replace them. But I cannot replace people.

Somehow I hope I don't make it to the West Coast. I'm not going home.

I dream that along my journey I may break down and meet someone along the way. That person will take me in and love me. But dreams you can wish for, always escape from my hands.

I no longer have my laughter. I'm a broken man.