A lot of people here care and have given good advice. You seem set on leaning on the same professionals that for months you have said do not care for you properly. The logic here is off Blue. I'm worried.

Just a little perspective, if you were doing these things in someone else's home you would be arrested and charged with a number of offenses. If you damage your apartment you will be held liable if they find out and they will have cause to kick you out. You may not suffered consequences for this kind of rage as a child, but if this gets out of control as an adult and the cops intervene it can severely damage your quality of life and your record that is pulled every time you need housing or a job. What if a neighbor hears you and becomes concerned and calls the authorities?

Explain to me why this isn't a check yourself in for emergency care situation?