Small world, @ARaven0137, small world! I'm actually an active SCA member at the moment, and enjoying it thoroughly! I've been contemplating getting into the cut-and-thrust side of things to give me some variety outside of heavy, but it will have to wait until I can afford to do more.

And %100 agree, self love is much easier and is a nice immediate satisfaction. I have rarely had a masturbation session I did not thoroughly enjoy (in the moment at least). But, I do find it much more satisfying and... ugh, struggling with words, "deep" feeling? More connected? when I achieve orgasm with my love. I also find it a lot easier to maintain that good roll when there's less downtime between lovemaking sessions. Less time in between for me to get myself in trouble. And more easily achieved orgasms when I'm with her next. So it's rather unfortunate that she and I don't share similar libidos, and also why I struggle to keep my hands off myself while waiting for our next time together. Combine that with my developed addictions, and well... it's a small miracle when I can make it a week without indulging.

I hope you and your SO can find a way to openly discuss your intimacies, I know how difficult it can be to resolve these kinds of issues otherwise. Some of the toughest fights my girl and I have had partly stemmed from how difficult I found it to confide some things with her, and she with me.