I think one also must weigh the price that they pay, and continue pay, when you stay.

Either way, your husband's behavior is seriously harming them.

I think the proper weighing is how much short-term disruption if you leave--versus--how much long-term, perhaps lifelong harm if you stay.

Your husband is a good example. His mother stayed. She avoided short-term disruption but he was harmed long-term. Do you want sons to grow up and treat women the way he treats you? Do you want daughters to end up with men who treat them the way he treats you?