With everything going on in my life right now. I want to lament (of course, what else do I do?) about something other than my job which I think I'm quitting today. I broke down and cried yesterday and today from a song I heard. I am recently divorced, and I haven't seen my ex in almost a year. I still think of her everyday and I miss her so much. I know I have to give myself time. My divorce only became final in December,. Maybe that stirs up the emotions, but I've not felt the need to cry like this for a long time. I don't know if I'm stuck, or still grieving the loss of my marriage, or just overwhelmed with emotions from my life right now and it manifests through this aspect, which is a bitter one for me. Sometimes, it's like the hurt will never go away, and other times... you just feel at rest.


I need to get my life back together, and I've given real effort to it, but I'm not seeing much results. Why is it so hard for me to pull my life back together? I guess processing emotions is where I am right now. Maybe getting through this will make the other parts of my life easier -- that's how this works, right? haha Something like that, I suppose.

I've just seen my psychiatrist and I keep in touch with my therapist. I'm using the supports I have in place but at some point I guess this is my journey, and it has to hurt before it gets better.


Just keep me in your thoughts. Also I try to keep up with everyone even if I don't comment much or like many things. My depression has gotten the better of me in terms of energy. However, I do care how you all are doing and like to read the good and help send love for the not so good. Thanks again for reading.

I'm giving up my job today I'm pretty sure. I tried to set up a meeting on Monday (thank God I have documentation -- it's been a hassle and having a paper trail is gonna help my cause), and have turned in via email and a hard copy of my ADA papers to HR who hasn't gotten back to me at all. I called today to see if they will schedule me in. I just don't think any accommodation will fix this. I can't handle it right now and I have to accept that. Even if my family gets angry and hates me for having to support me a little while longer, since they do not understand how hard it is and how it feels to go through the torture it brings day in and day out. I'll see what HR has to say, but I'm pretty sure I have a decision made.


That's all for now.