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Mar 05, 2020, 06:41 PM
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Member Since: Apr 2013
Location: Ontario Land
Posts: 3,592
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Quote:
Originally Posted by fern46
I understand the concept of episodic grieving. These types of experiences come up for us in cycles. That is natural. They are reborn, grow to some sort of peak emotionally and then hopefully die down for a time to allow us to process things with greater insight on a deeper level each time.
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I have noticed that as well. Knowing this doesn't ease my suffering.
Quote:
Originally Posted by fern46
I can see where your pdoc is coming from. In a group setting there is a risk you will be led astray. I think one has to follow their heart and instinct and know that sometimes an idea may not be a fit, but sharing a moment with people who underdstand is invaluable.
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I'm not sure my psychiatrist really listens. I know she cares, but in a professional way.
Part of the problem is my tendency to compare myself to others. Most of my psychiatrist's clients are low functioning and have severe mental illness(She's a part of an ACT team). I feel that my problems are very minor compared to the rest of her clients.
I keep my distance from the psychiatric community, because I tend to compare myself with others. My hospitalizations where torture, because patients had a ranking system and competed with each other to determine who was the most mentally ill. Even the staff were guilty of it. - And since I was misdiagnosed with a PD, everything I said and felt was misinterpreted as manipulation. What was really nasty about this, was I had to resort to SH to be heard. Pathetic. Note: I learned SH in the hospital at the age of 16.
I haven't done any SH since 1998. I stopped, because it made me feel awful. I hated doing it, but I justified it, because it was the only way I felt people would pay attention to me. It was that pathetic. I can't seem to forgive myself for this.
Quote:
Originally Posted by fern46
Consider perhaps joining in on some of the check in threads where we keep things mostly social. It is a way to remain connected without discussing any one particular issue. I wish you all the best for healing and a bright future.  |
Thanks for the invitation. Would I still be welcomed if I don't BP?
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Dx: Didgee Disorder
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