i think what constitutes "bad enough" is different for everyone. my "bad enough" happened after 20 years of marriage to a drinker and cheater. what took me so long? i honestly do not know. fear of being alone, not confident enough to end it, feeling i deserved the relationship i was in...the list is extensive and i still, to this day (we've been apart for around 7 years now, but remain friends) cannot explain why i put up with what i put up with for so long. and i sometimes wonder if i made the right choice to end it...