Quote:
Originally Posted by TishaBuv
The answer has a lot to do with self esteem and emotional issues.
My husband is a really good man. It’s more like you have a right and left arm, and you can’t get the left arm to cooperate with what you want it to do. Relationships are hard (at least for me). He is not anything that someone would run from. For us, it’s an issue that is the combination of the two of us... the addiction is TV, laziness, boredom, complacency, lack of meeting each other’s needs. It was a “you go first, no you go first” all the time over intimacy and generally. It’s just infuriating to me.
But I have to work on my patience and expectations. Maybe there is something wrong with me and that’s why I am bothered. Anyone else would be happy. I’m too flawed and hate that I am unappreciative of how much good I really do have. You all would slap me. 
A long time ago, when I was single and young, I waited patiently and hung on with alcoholic, cheating guys who didn’t really care for me. So, just low self esteem.
I know some people profess their relationships are so ideal, and maybe they tell the truth, but I’ve sure never seen one.
Respect to all who leave and who stay. You can’t judge until you walk in someone’s shoes.  |
That's why I said I am not throwing stones here, because I have been that person who stayed too long in a toxic relationship, or who went back again and again for more abuse. So I am no one pointing fingers, which is what I stated in my original post.
But having walked in those shoes several times over, I do have experience in this kind of relationship -- and lots of it.
And it's hard to watch others go through the same pain I did. If I can help them to avoid that pain, I will do whatever I can. I hate watching others suffer.
And yes, I understand you have a mixed kind of relationship -- with toxic and non-toxic elements. It's true that no relationship is perfect. Not in the least. And people who say it is? They're lying and pretending.