Hey Blue,

I did not consider the second half of your post:

Is this an episode or what? I don't feel depressed or on top of the world, and I'm sleeping just fine. I just feel... violent all the time right now.


I think you have a few things going on this time.

I think you do have a mood disorder. I understand there can be mixed symptoms, etc. An episode does not have to follow a textbook example, as you know. I was reminded of how you were suddenly deciding you did not need meds and more, just two weeks ago. So, in being friends with you for a couple of years, I do feel you suffer from a mood disorder. I have had people with BP tell me they sometimes experience rages with hypo or mania.

I am quite sure you have pent up anger about a few situations in your life. I do not think your anger in those instances would cause all of this. It may contribute.

I still think the akathisia did play a part in triggering this episode.

I consider you a good friend. I hate to see you suffering like this. I hate the fact that you must deal with BP; yet, it is true. We both have that diagnosis and we both have to face it in order to deal with it. We want to have the best lives we can have with the challenges we must overcome/cope with., learn to live with.

I honestly think things will go more smoothly for you if /when you can make peace with this.

You are an amazing person! You have so many gifts! Do not throw them away.

I love you and I want you to have the best life possible.
Please do let me know how I can help!