Thanks guys - the plumber fixed the problem yesterday and my "nice" husband is back. I swear he has two personalities (but not in a DID sense). I confided about my week to one of my close friends who has her own relationship/divorce issues, but happens to be a marriage/family counselor, and she kind of freaked on me about him being violently abusive. It hurt because a lot of her tone included statements that implied that I have a victim mentality (which I strongly believe that I don't), that I will be a negligent mother if it happens once the baby is 'out', and that I shouldn't allow this to happen. I'm not *ALLOWING* it to happen - I'm desperately trying to figure out how to solve it. Yes, in the sense that I haven't filed for divorce, I am allowing myself to remain in a marriage where a "mean" husband comes out to yell when under stress a few times a year. But the "nice" husband is so wonderful that I don't want to give up my marriage - I love him so much - I just want to figure out how to nip the "mean" husband in the bud so that it doesn't happen in the future. I don't expect that his anxiety and frustration will just disappear, but I want him to develop better coping techniques, not just for my/baby's sake, but for his own sake as well.

Anyway, it was kind of discouraging to hear her say that. Made me wish I hadn't confided in her at all, but then again, covering it up wouldn't be healthy either.

I stressed that I don't need the big picture pointed out to me - I already know that his behavior is completely unacceptable. That's why I'm trying to figure out what to do about it. What I need is *practical* advice, and she actually did have some for me. She said that while the "nice" husband is back, we should get ourselves back to our T and write an agreement that he signs, saying that if he escalates to yelling and cursing uncontrollably, that I will call the police and have him removed from the house. NO, I don't want him arrested unless he becomes a danger to the baby, me or to himself - but I do want the mean, hostile guy out of the house and if he can't learn (either the hard way, or by seeking appropriate counseling) how to do it, then he's making a choice to accept that as the consequence. Now, before I do that, I do need to call the police and make sure that I understand what their protocol is before I call them. I do know that our police bureau has a set of officers that are specially trained in dealing with mental health issues. I spoke with their supervisor a few years ago and he explained the kind of training they have received and what procedures they follow, but it was about 5 years ago and I forgot most of it. Anyway, I thought that was a good plan and I will meet with T once by myself to discuss the idea, then again with my husband and T to get it done. I *know* that the "nice" husband will agree with this - he feels awful about his mood and behavior of this past week. But I'm relieved that I finally have a good consequence that I can hold him to.

Thanks for your support, everyone