as hard as this is for us all and you, on some level we do know eachother. we share the same pain, tears, laughs, frustrations ect. so if one of us does decides to end our life, which no one is really sure what happens to us after the fact, that would definitely affect us. i know that i care otherwise i like others would not take the time to even respond to your post. just like the way you care about us when you answer our posts and hand out a hand of support. you do matter to me, to us, and to anyone you encounter i'm sure. i mean you have 3 pages of replies just for your post. wow!!! i hope you find some comfort. THERE'S ALWAYS A WAY, SOMEONE HAS TO KNOW THE ANSWER. hugs for you. you've made it this far.