Getting clean and sober has been one of the most difficult things I have ever had to do in my life. As time has passed, I have had moments where I don't even have to think about it--it just comes naturally. It took a long time to get to that point. So, take heart, it does get better. Of course, I am just like everybody else, just one drink away from a relapse...it just seems like that first drink does not haunt me like it did when I first got sober.