I just had about a 4 month stint of mania. I really messed up and cheated on my husband of 22 years. First time and worse thing ever. I was too ashamed and afraid to tell my husband and he found out by finding things in my phone. My husband is trying to understand everything and he is very hurt. He is choosing to stay with me. He keeps asking me to write him letters about our future together and whatever else. I gave him 3 letters in a month including a very nice love letter but it isn't enough. He brings it up every day why haven't I wrote more... Over and over. I feel so pressured. I feel overwhelmed by his neediness. If I write a letter I need a quiet place with no interruptions to my train of thought. I also have been dealing with the trauma I caused and getting started on meds regularly only within the last month.
I just needed to vent somewhere.