Man, I have had a morning. I’ve been all over the emotion spectrum today, and it’s only 11am. We’ll see how today goes. I don’t feel pessimistic about it, I actually feel kind of apathetic about the day, so it’s only a step above, I guess. But hey, it’s only 11am.

No plans for today. I’m probably gonna spend most of it listening to music and trying to relax my mind. I’ve been pretty stressed out lately and I’m not using this time off from work well. I’ve got to start relaxing and working through my issues. A lot of them I can’t do anything about right now – some long-term goals, but I have to find some short-term solutions if I plan to keep my job. After the disasters I’ve had with them I’m surprised I even want to keep the dang thing.

Meds are what they are, “therapy” is what it is. I’m not rebelling against either because I’ve seen the help in both, but I just feel recently they’re both letting me down some. Or maybe it’s just me letting myself down. I guess it’s all how I look at it. If I trust in my psychiatrist’s judgement – my meds should be working, or at least put me at a plateau higher than without it. And if I trust my therapist – I’m moving forward and that’s all the matters to get to where I want to be. So, why don’t I feel like that’s the case?

That’s all I guess. Just life giving me lemons and I forgot to buy sugar and my tap tastes like chlorine. haha