Hello everyone!

I am a 38 year old single woman. I have a friend..not a best friend but more a casual friend..and I have known him for close to a decade. He is 36 and also single. As far as I can tell he is a nice, decent man. I certainly cannot pinpoint anything wrong with him.

Over the years we have met a few times in various restaurants and cafes and I had an ok, if somewhat boring, time with him. Last year though, he invited a bunch of us over to his home. Since then, whenever I make plans to meet up with him, he asks me to come over to his place.

The idea makes sense to me. He lives alone, maybe he feels lonely. Meeting at his place means a more relaxed chat with no time constraint, lots of privacy etc. And yet, in spite of everything, I feel a strange dread about going to his place.

For one thing, his house is out of my way and involves a long commute. Secondly, the architecture of the place creeps me out. The drawing room (where we sit) is a huge space with a high ceiling and no windows. The light is low and a little depressing. Our voices echo. There is no other sound - not even the sound of traffic. Funny as it might sound, this scares me. I feel trapped. I want to leave within an hour but I fear if I leave too soon he might feel bad. The conversation often comes to awkward pauses, and that also adds to the pressure. Most of the time I feel a coldness spread through my heart when I am inside his house - though I can't explain why. I have never noticed my friend doing or saying anything to make me feel uncomfortable.

I have braved my fears and visited him twice. But after that I lost my nerve and keep flaking on him, even though I feel terrible about it. I agree to come and then chicken out at the last moment. I can't tell him that being a grown woman I feel scared of walking into his house! I must be coming across as a douchebag to him.

Can anybody relate to my experience? Do you have any explanation why I am having this fear? I am totally comfortable visiting the homes of some of my other friends, but in general I am introverted. Is that the reason for my discomfort? Please can you help me figure this thing out?