The situation I mentioned in the title of this thread is an on-going issue for me, which is one of a few reasons I remain on disability.

When I'm either hypomanic/manic or doing very well stable, I either come up with big or numerous projects, or have aspirations to take steps forward in life. When I was much younger, I benefited from this greatly. When the situation "slowed" or became more difficult, I seemed to manage sufficiently, most of the time, with some exceptions. In the case of the exceptions, I'd eventually brush off the figurative dust/dirt, and move forward again.

Since my worst episodes 14 years ago, this figurative "dusting off the dirt and starting over again" became more and more difficult. If I did seem back in the groove with things, the doing of them would eventually become more difficult. Sometimes quickly. Trying to push myself became almost impossible, like trying to push two magnets together on the sides of like poles.

I can't even remember how many projects, classes, and other endeavors, I've started but not finished over the years. It's gotten to the point where my husband never trusts that I will finish new goals to completion. That feels very horrible, but his attitude is justified.

I'm not altogether well right now. These past few months I started new things, like a French class. I was enthusiastic in the beginning, but now I'm trying to find ways to avoid it, secretly. I looked up local movies I could go to instead of the class, and yet tell hubby that I went to the class. I know that's horrible, but I dread hearing him say "I knew you would drop out, prematurely."

I haven't even wanted to go to my therapy, lately. I like her, but don't feel like hearing suggestions how to push through the resistance.

I don't know what I'm asking here. Do others relate to this? Any suggestions? I'm particularly looking for the former.