Blue. I'm just catching up here and am, like the others, very concerned about you.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Wild Coyote
Again. I am telling you there is a "disconnect" between you and your providers.
They are not psychic. They only know what you tell them. She cannot give you help with your raging episodes if she still does not know more about them.
It feel like you are tying her hands and then you are incredibly enraged with her for not performing up to par. 
I know you do not want to go IP and so are not telling the whole story.
How are you going to get better? |
^This^ really seems to capture the gist of it. You seem to be holding back then getting mad that they don't understand the full extent of the issue. That's not fair or logical.
I can't help but think that the Ritalin surely can't be helping the situation. I think it would be a good idea to skip it and see if that helps, even if it is only to a degree.
I know you don't want to go IP, but if this continues, you may end up there involuntarily due to violence. It's so much better to go voluntarily. Sometimes we have to do things we don't want to. I'm not insisting you do it, just bringing up a couple points that would be good to consider.
Lots of
, Blue. I'm really, really worried and hope you can find relief soon.