Today was a physically and emotionally draining day. My class was completely out of control (well three out of seven of them were). One of the boys was getting agitated and trying to push me out of the way of the door, and he shoved another student. He also eloped during a fire drill. He’s suspended tomorrow, thAnk goodness. I don’t know what will become of the other two. I’m just thankful that my student has been having a streak of really good days. Even when he started to get overwhelmed with all the noise the other students were making, he kept it together. I’m very proud of him.
Physically I feel ok. Still having racing heart symptoms off and on. I lost my bp monitor already (I mean, wtf, I swear I put it in my purse but now it’s not there). So I don’t know if my bp is high or not. But I have an appt with my primary on Thursday. That ought to ease my fears. And the fact that the hospital didn’t find anything wrong except the high bp. I think a lot of my high heart rate right now is due to anxiety. I’m trying to do deep breathing and I am taking klonopin but it’s not really helping. Like it helps for an hour or two and then my heart rate is back up. We shall see.
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Of course it is happening inside your head. But why on earth should that mean that it is not real?
-Albus Dumbledore
That’s life. If nothing else, that is life. It’s real. Sometimes it
f—-ing hurts. But it’s sort of all we have.
-Garden State
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