I'm so anxious. I can't remember if I've mentioned this but I get Emsam through patient assistance. It is $950/month otherwirse and needless to say I don't have that. They didn't notify me about a renewal and my doctor's office convinced me to wait for a while and ultimately I ran out of refills and needed to re-apply and didn't know it. I had some meds backlogged so I didn't know for a while. Well, now there's a big mess about whether I've disqualified for the program and I'm completely stressed out about it because Emsam is the only AD that has ever helped me. Plus if I have to go off it I'll have to go IP to transition to something else. And I don't want to do IP.

Anyway, I've spent a lot of time in the last week trying to get paperwork in and getting frustrated because the company loses 50% of what I send, even when it goes as one fax. I need them to get it all so I can appeal. I only have 3.5 weeks of meds left. I need my pdoc to fight for me, which she will but probably not unless it is in person. I see her in a week which is cutting it close but if she fought she'd probably win based on the past so I can wait. However now the COVID19 thing means going to see her may not be a good idea at all and I'll have to work out something with her to have any appointment. I think she does telehealth but that doesn't solve my need to fight with the Emsam people. I have no idea how we'll work it out for her to fight with patient assistance people.

My therapist is out of town for a few days getting trained in EMDR. Naturally he's in a place that has had cases of COVID. He is doing Friday appointments he doesn't usually do but I didn't schedule one because I was supposed to be doing something else that day. But now I"m not sure I'll be seeing him for a while; I may have to do phone sessions for a while.

My mom is making the COVID thing hard; I think there are reasonable ways to stay safe in public right now and she disagrees. And since I practically live with her and she's over the age of concern and I've got asthma that is a concern with the virus it's really hard to dispute her points.

I'm so anxious tonight that I think I'm going to have to take a PRN which I hate since I'm trying to adjust to the time change.

So stressed.....