This is a complex issue.

He may feel unable to cope with your problem so uses the only way he knows to try and deal with it, not realising it could be construed as abusive. If he's open to learning more, then that would be good. However, professional help would be better for him to understand his actions and what happens to you. If he refuses then he considers his behaviour normal.

It's true that one person's interpretation of abuse is not necessarily the same for another. Whilst physical abuse leaves obvious signs, psychological/emotional not so.

Good luck!