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Old Mar 10, 2020, 06:02 AM
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Have Hope Have Hope is offline
Wise Elder
 
Member Since: Dec 2017
Location: Eastern, USA
Posts: 9,738
Quote:
Originally Posted by Amethyst_Stargazer View Post
I just wanted to add and I know I'm late here: I was involved in an abusive relationship. I truly loved him. I did. I always kept trying to make it work. Always. I'd be crying a lot of the time, trying to make it work.

Never knew that it was toxic or abusive, I honestly believed that I was the bad one and that everything was my fault. For so many years I kept going back to him, over and over again. The patterns were always there, I just never could see it clearly because my mind was so confused by everything. But I didn't realize it was all apart of the abusive. The lying, the covering up, the excuses, manipulation, guilt tripping, everything.

For so many years I blamed myself and always kept trying to hold onto what we had left, which was barely nothing by the end. Because I was so worn out by everything. He made fun of me one the way to go to the store. On the drive there, I kept thinking of all the good times we had together. We did have good times, but it was very very rare. The moment he went into the store, I knew I had to get out, because I was so tired of him treating me so horribly.

Whatever you do. Do not blame yourself. I'm simply just sharing what I been through. You are important and please know that.
Thank you for sharing your story, @Amethyst_Stargazer. Hugs to you.

I am sure you are not alone in that situation. I am sure many, many women felt or feel the way you did.

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"Twenty-five years and my life is still trying to get up that great big hill of hope for a destination"

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