hmmm... i was trying to find a new T as my sessions were limited with the former one. i was far more tentative and i was scrutinizing him...eyeballing him, trying to really get a feel for how he was... my former T, well, i was in crisis.. and i didnt care if he had an arm growing out of his forehead! i dont remember a first impression.. i was too messed up.

so when i went to find a new one i was in a far different place mentally... i remember almost every minute because i was really trying to evaluate him

to be honest... i almost kept looking. He was sharply dressed and even though he doesn't wear a tie, i was worried that he would be too clinical or formal. He was obviously very smart, had a sense of humour, etc... but the warmth he has is different than i had in mind, and i was concerned about his degree of empathy. i dunno, it seemed sort of business-like.. possibly partly my fault as i made it clear i was "shopping."

it wasn't a first glance experience... i remember thinking he seemed possibly too much like my pdoc (whom i love like crazy, but i needed a different sort of relationship to do what i needed to do)

im glad i "kept" him