Quote:
Originally Posted by ZazaJ
Thank you all very much for responding and weighing in.
I'm at the very beginning of this discovery, so I'm feeling very confused. I'm still in disbelief. I don't want it to be truth.
He doesn't drink - digestive issues.
Why he's a great guy? He's all I ever wanted... He loves me. He's very family oriented. He's always trying to make our lives better. He takes care of a lot of things around the house. He's not spending time watching sports or going out with his friends. He's very well liked. He makes me laugh. We have similar values. ... so he's perfect
... and I'm not.
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He's not perfect since he is emotionally and verbally abusive towards you.
The reasons you list have nothing to do with his character, how he treats you, or how he treats other people. The reasons you list are mostly surface level reasons to admire or respect someone.
How he treats you..... is that how you would treat him? With verbally aggressive behavior? You may both be family oriented, and perhaps that's why you feel you share similar values, yet many people are family oriented but are not abusive.
Sounds like you hold him on a pedestal yet look down on your own self. Why is that?
It seems like you're looking at this relationship through a colored lens that is influencing your perspective.
If he's not treating you the way you want and deserve to be treated, then perhaps it's time to reevaluate.