OpenEyes, thanks for bringing this very important subject to our attention. It can really be the elephant in the room.

In other posts, I've mentioned my mother's former neighbour whose alcohol consumption a contributing factor to his dementia diagnosis. To a degree, she helped fuel his addiction, buying him JD for birthday, Christmas. His social circle were drinkers, each with their own health problems. Sister-in-law also has a problem with alcohol, becoming outspoken and aggressive. I believe it contributed to her lashing out at me, as she was already drinking when I arrived at their house. Over the years, she's admitted to having at least one bottle of wine each night. Goes to slimming club so she can "drink more". Brother also not averse to "downing a few cans". Both have underlying health problems but ignoring possible ill effects of excessive alcohol.

We all want to help someone overcome a problem, whether it's addiction or a simple bad habit, but cannot force them to accept that help. The dynamics are complex. It's very sad when despite accepting all the help and love, they cannot or will not overcome the problem.