I am grabbing dinner with my acquaintance tonight. I hope it goes well.

I must must must maintain a positive attitude at work. It is so important! Too bad I have so much to struggle against in that regard. Lots of childhood conditioning. I am antisocial and avoidant and incredibly dark and quiet. I am unable to tell when people are joking either. I will never be able to be someone people bond with through joking. I don’t feel like these things are easy.

I ****ing hate my job but god I don’t know if it’s because of my own shortcomings.