I am not sure what may be the reason, @Discombobulated, but I certainly can relate all too well! Practice self-care. Perhaps do some Yoga. Perhaps you can try to see a Therapist to find the underlying causes of your struggles. Remember that you DO matter and that we're here for you! Sending many safe, warm hugs to BOTH you, @Discombobulated, your Family, your Friends, your Parents and ALL of your Loved Ones! Keep fighting and keep rocking NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS, OK, MY DEAR, SWEET, KIND, AWESOME AND WONDERFUL FRIEND?!