I’ve been married for a decade and have three littles. I have endured emotional and verbal abuse for all but a year I guess. I can’t remember honestly.
I am scared of the single mom life. I am confused too. My partner will blow up at me every month or once every 3 months. There is really no telling when he will have an issue with me.
He doesn’t help me very much whether I’m working or not. He is basically financial support at times with how little he feels he needs to do and if I mess up them it’s all on me.
Recently I lost a bank card and he lost his mind in front of our kids. He ripped my wallet out of my hands and said he had to verify it isn’t there because I’ve done dumb stuff in the past. He then asked me to take off my jacket to search my pockets and I said no. He flipped out. He told me my pride was preventing him from doing a simple and necessary task. I didn’t care. I said no and I asked him to stop yelling. He said I make him blow up. He continued to scream at me and tell me that I am emotional and I don’t use my brain. He says he is the logical one fixing my mistakes.
He never apologizes. I fell asleep on the couch and the next day I never got an apology. He just acted like nothing happened.
A couple of days later I asked him to help clean up our baby because I was making lunch. He said no because we had to come home early from a friends house because I forgot a change of clothes for the baby. He said “why the f*** would I help you when you didn’t prepare?”
Over the last three years it has gotten worse I have been called a *****, told that I have to do things like make dinner, screamed at in front of our kids, called a bad parent for trivial things, and he’s referred to our children and myself as f***ers or told me we are a pain in the *****. He has also threatened to take money from me for losing simple things and did take $20 from me for a simple item that any of us could’ve lost.

I am sad and hurt. We are also Christians, but this relationship has not helped me feel closer to God at all. I feel so unloved and hurt. In between big blow ups he says little things here & there that hurt. I’m not perfect but I make an effort not to call him names and I don’t yell unless he yells at me first but I’ve been trying to not do that as well. Please give me honest advice.

Thank you.