I have had a diaper fetish for as long as i can remember and I hate it so bad that it lead to depression and suicidal thoughts when I was around 17-18. I have been trying to get rid of it but I can't, I seriously need help, I don't know how my mind works anymore, I've hated this so much that I recently did not think about anything diaper fetish related for about a MONTH, and after a month it just came into my head slowly and slowly bringing me back to this stupid fetish I would gladly give up my life for if it becomes a problem, I don't even wear diapers I just have these stupid thoughts of girls in diapers and weird things like that, and when it has a full hold on me, I start mas***bating to it then when im done I realize what I'm doing and feel so much regret, literally a MONTH WASTED. I hate this, I wanna stop, I don't want this, Please help, I don't know what I should do, Counselling didnt help, I use herbal medications that enhances my logical thinking which was the main reason why I was successful at not thinking about it for a month and also used pills that would make my p**is less sensitive. I don't know what more I can do. I have been trying to give this up for about 4 years, I'm 20 now. If it's a good time to fix myself, it's now or never. Thankyou for reading.. and please reply.. I need all the feedback possible.