Yes, the workings of the mind remain very much the mystery to me, as well, Discombobulated. But I can definitely relate to what you're referring to.

Mindfulness and acceptance, particularly self-acceptance, have helped me to deal with the self criticism and particularly with self-shaming as well - which used to be like very awful ongoing attacks on myself.

I believe trauma's - of any kind - can somehow create negative patterns in the mind too. I'm pretty sure I've read that somewhere.