Hi Purplemelon44, welcome to the forums. I know exactly the feelings you are talking about, as I was in a similar situation with my husband (now ex husband). We had been married for about 13 years when he said that he wanted a divorce, and I had never thought that was even a possibility--I assumed til death do us part really meant forever. I was so traumatized and so caught off guard by the whole thing that I was also nauseated and shaky and had so much anxiety I couldn't sleep and even kept him awake as well, for many nights. I think that it was just shock and grief and I didn't expect it or see it coming at all, so I just couldn't emotionally handle it, which translated to problems in my physical body. I just want to let you know, that regardless of the way your situation turns out, you will be ok. The hardest and worst part is in the beginning. But if you are not able to save your marriage, you will go through the process of grief and eventually, even though you are sad, you're not going to be distraught to the point where you can't really function well. I hope that helps at least a little bit, as I know that it seems like nothing will really help at all. I'm sorry that you are going through this situation and I hope that you feel at least functional soon.