It seems like you're going through A LOT, @aimlesshiker! Give yourself a break. You deserve it. The World can be REALLY overwhelming and there's nothing wrong with taking some time for ourselves. I COMPLETELY agree with what the wise and wonderful @Yaowen has already wisely and wonderfully said better than I Possibly ever couldWholefully and Entirely in my whole and entire Life! Take some time for Yourself and I am sure that things will adjust themselves out. Just do your best but remember to practice self-care as well. We are here rooting for you and supporting you if you need. Feel free to PM me ANYTIME! Please do listen to what @Yaowen is saying, OK?! YOU ARE THE STRONGEST! Sending many safe, warm hugs to BOTH You, @aimlesshiker, your Family, your Friends and ALL of your Loved Ones! Keep fighting and keep rocking NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS, OK, MY DEAR, SWEET, KIND, AWESOME AND WONDERFUL FRIEND?!