I'm so sorry you went through that and I hope it gets better for you. I agree with the other posters, but I can empathize. I have a friend with BPD, whom I've known for a year. He began to turn toxic about six months ago and it got worse and worse. I kept feeling like I know this guy and he'll go back to normal soon. He finally imploded with ranting screamfests of him destroying his room and threatening self harm if I wouldn't be in a relationship with him.

My thoughts are with you and I think I understand what you've been through.