I'm happy to be of support to someone with such great interests! No problem when life takes priority. I'm glad to see things are smoothing out for you. I'm proud of your progress. I totally agree with meditation. I love it, but don't do it nearly enough.

Communication was never our strong suit. From my perspective, he can be a "my way or the highway" kind of guy. I spend a lot of time with one foot on the highway. I also spend a lot of time apologizing for everything.

He is big on a clean and orderly house. When we first got together, that was a flash point for us. I'm relaxed while he had to have everything in its place. He's told counselors that he wanted a housewife and someone to care for the home. And his behavior towards me has always been one of disdain for my career and pressure to take care of the house. If I resigned and just stayed home and sat on the couch, awaiting his next task order he would as happy as could be.

For trophy wife, I'm quite attractive and he's always wanted that to show that he "made it." Ideally, I would just look good and take care of the house. My work has always been a point of conflict because I spend less time doing housework.

That guy with BPD I mentioned in other posts wanted that too. He's a year plus long friend who wanted more. He told me he wants a beautiful girlfriend to show off to his family and friends to make them jealous or show them that he's worth something.

While I'm very glad for my looks it's a double edged sword. I get a lot of attention and I've learned how to work it, but I get a lot of attention and sometimes I have to work it.

I do know what you mean by just having great sex with another. I miss the closeness and the feel and the smells and just giggling and having fun.

But keep up the great work! I'm totally in your corner.