I can’t live like this anymore. Due to severe ‘Fibro fog’ and exhaustion I can barely read never alone respond to your posts. All the things I love doing have been taken from me. I can barely help out or practically love those I care about. My life is meaningless. I keep fighting but it only wears me out more. I’m sorry for the negativity. I won’t post again. I’m about to give up.

I see my T Wednesday and pdoc Thursday. My pdoc is trying to prescribe me Ritalin to help my mind and energy. I just need to pass a drug screen, which I should. If that doesn’t work it’s over. I ache to think I will hurt those I love but I am a burden. I offer nothing in this physical state. I am not about to act so don’t panic. This is just where I’m at.

I can’t contribute much here so I feel I no longer belong. This illness has isolated me and taken so many people and things that I love. I can see no end. Medicine doesn’t understand Fibromyalgia. My last line of resort is meditating at least one hour a day. I’m trying to connect with the source and find peace and love. Please don’t preach to me. I suffer from severe religious trauma. I need to do this my way. Something dramatic needs to change or I’m scared I won’t make it. Sorry for being this way. I will leave now.