Thanks for sharing ((sarahsweets)) I really appreciate your input in that you are someone who did have a problem. I am sure it took a lot for you to finally realize you had a problem and finally choose to do something about it. It was important to me to show respect for that too. You are a caring member here and I have seen your many posts where you have shown respect to someone that is challenged and you share your wisdom from what you have learned yourself. You stopped self medicating and instead of running from your challenges you learned to face them and work through them instead.

When my husband was active, he did things that were VERY selfish. He tended to have friends that were active and they were often way worse than him. I had tried to move away thinking that if he got away from these individuals then it would help. I had not realized that that would not matter because he would STILL have the problem no matter how far I tried to move away. What the individual finally has to learn is that part of the change and recovery is how they have to give up their drinking buddies and instead make NEW friends that often turn out to be in these groups that are making it a point to stay sober and change for the better.

I think in my case, even though it was so hard for me to support that effort that often left me very LONELY, what I had learned was going to be important when it came time for me to help the most important person in my life.

Sometimes, a person refuses to bite the bullet, and that is when even though you love that person, you have to walk away. When someone said "I want to make up my own mind", I do know EXACTLY how that feels. It's something each person has to sit and really think through.