Quote:
Originally Posted by Wander
Possible Trigger!!
I can’t live like this anymore. Due to severe ‘Fibro fog’ and exhaustion I can barely read never alone respond to your posts. All the things I love doing have been taken from me. I can barely help out or practically love those I care about. My life is meaningless. I keep fighting but it only wears me out more. I’m sorry for the negativity. I won’t post again. I’m about to give up.
I see my T Wednesday and pdoc Thursday. My pdoc is trying to prescribe me Ritalin to help my mind and energy. I just need to pass a drug screen, which I should. If that doesn’t work it’s over. I ache to think I will hurt those I love but I am a burden. I offer nothing in this physical state. I am not about to act so don’t panic. This is just where I’m at.
I can’t contribute much here so I feel I no longer belong. This illness has isolated me and taken so many people and things that I love. I can see no end. Medicine doesn’t understand Fibromyalgia. My last line of resort is meditating at least one hour a day. I’m trying to connect with the source and find peace and love. Please don’t preach to me. I suffer from severe religious trauma. I need to do this my way. Something dramatic needs to change or I’m scared I won’t make it. Sorry for being this way. I will leave now.
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HI Wander,
I am very sad for you and for all you have been going through.
I do understand the lack of medical understanding of fibromyalgia. I, too, deal with FMS. It can be so very disabling in so many ways.
Exacerbations are very disheartening. as both the body and the mind are severely affected by the extreme exhaustion. The pain can be excruciating. People can feel very disconnected from their family. friends, significant others...and maybe even fro themselves. The severity can vary, depending on many different factors, as you know all too well.
Wander, you have been both suffering and putting up quite a fight all at the same time. Your challenges have been significant and you have continued to try to stay positive, strong and patient ever since I have known you..
Your strong Spirit has been an inspiration to many here, including me.
In my experience, which may be very different from yours., the FMS exacerbations can last a very long time; yet, they are cyclical. I 'd often wanted much more reassurance than the fact that it tends to cycle. Yet, in most cases FMS exacerbaions do cycle and I am hoping your current episode will let up soon.
There was a time when I did find stimulants like Ritalin very helpful. I am hoping this helps you out, as well. I know you have been through so many med trials for so long that the thought of trying yet another med may feel very disheartening.;( I do hope you will give Ritalin a try, as well as possibly trying some other stimulants if Ritalin does not do the trick.
I do recall feeling hopeless, isolated and in tremendous pain, both physically and emotionally during FMS exacerbations.
We all love you and want to support you. I think we have proven our commitment to you for a long time now.. NOTHING changes the way we feel about you.
I know I wish I could find a way to help even more.
Please don't leave the community because you are feeling like a burden. Please leave only if you feel doing so will give you a better life, a better chance at healing your life.
I do hope your providers can offer you some hope this coming week.
In the meantime and only whenever you find it helpful, please do keep reaching out here, where you are loved by many.
Is there something more we could do to help you to feel more welcomed and more supported?
I hope I will see you around! I hope to read updates. I hope to read you are swimming again.
With Love, Understanding and Lots of Hope
