Hello everyone! I'm trying to process through some stuff and I am looking for some insight. I have C-PTSD along with NPD. I have childhood trauma that effects me along with trauma from my stent in the army. I struggle with anxiety, depression, abandonment, rejection, selfishness, jealousy and self confidence. I also have controlling issues and manipulation tendencies. My wife had BPD. We have been together for 8 years and married for 5. Throughout our relationship I have lied, manipulated, been fake, hidden things and been controlling. When my wife and I have argued about my issues, I say I will change. I make an effort for a couple weeks until I see she is "happy" again, then fall right back into my old self. This has gone on for the entirety of our relationship since probably the 1 year mark. We go through this every 3-6 months or so.

Our last "fight" happened about 2 months ago and since then we have really been in a rut. We both are seeing therapist now and trying to cycle through our individual issues. It has put a huge strain on our marriage. She wants a divorce/separation because she feels that she doesn't really know me and was tricked into our relationship. Part of me doesn't blame her, but the other part of me loves her so much and I'm afraid to lose her. Afraid she will discover she's happy without me before she gives me a chance to change.

We were looking up info on narcissism and how it cannot be "cured" but you can learn to manage the severity and duration of the narcissistic tendencies. I told her I will get better I don't care what it takes.

Here are a few questions I have:

1. Has anyone here dealt with or have narcissism and were able to over come it? And if so, how?

2. Is anyone here in a relationship where one partner has C-PTSD/PTSD and the other has BPD? And if so, how do you manage it?

3. Has anyone here been through a divorce/separation in a relationship and that action made the relationship stronger in the end? And if so, how did it work?