I’ve been thinking about this post, trying to fit my experience inside of it. I fell in love with a therapist. It wasn’t something I set out to do, but I was told by a previous T that I would get so much more out of the experience if I opened myself emotionally and let myself become a little more vulnerable. So I did that in a new T relationship and it worked, I made tremendous emotional growth and it benefitted me in forming and deepening my other relationships. But the resulting attachment was something far more intense than I expected, and none of the lit about transference made the feelings seem any less real. I became jealous of my T’s outside life. I’m not proud of that, but owning my emotional responses was part of my work, mistakes and all.

So, I don’t think it’s necessarily as black and white as you expressed it. It’s an interpersonal profession and deep attachments are always risky. And some people are just more susceptible to hurt and some Ts are more skilled with dealing with these scenarios than others. Take and appreciate all of the good and assume most of the pain that comes wasn’t intentional or malicious. That’s the best we can hope for.