Firstly, I was to thank @Have Hope for this thread and for you and others sharing your struggles and triumphs.

This is an excellent article! And I find it very similar to a lot of the techniques tried in DBT although maybe even better...then again, I never completed DBT so maybe it's the same. I've tried most of the things listed here but with varying results...or perhaps I have a loop of triggering emotions that when I think I've acted rationally and still don't get the desired response, then I kinda forget and lose my cool maybe...sometimes. But I feel like lately I've acted pretty rationally, despite how I feel on the inside or what my first reaction was. I've been asking others for advice too sometimes on what theyd do in certain situations and/or what they'd suggest as the best approach. Ultimately I have to decide if this is good advice or not, but I'm getting better at recognizing what could be helpful and what could be harmful, recognizing whether my fear is justified or I'm just scared of the unknown. Sometimes I just get thrown for a complete loop though and still get a negative result even when an action had worked effectively I the past...that's when I have to remind myself that I'm doing the best I can and then decide whether the opposite action will work in the next situation or this was just an atypical event.
Does that make sense?